


A Fairy Tale

by ayatos



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5138870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayatos/pseuds/ayatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinami was always the princess, the eternal beauty who radiated innocence and purity. </p><p>Ayato was not the prince of her story, he was the monster that lurked in the night and tempted girls like her.</p><p>However Hinami found herself drawn to the darkness trapped between his ribs, she was drawn to the idea of letting him consume her. As was he--the idea of destroying her would be the ultimate victory. Though he didn't expect her to be the one to slowly tear him apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Red Riding Hood

Music thrummed through Hinami’s system making her fingers tremble nearly spilling the drink in her hand. Doe eyes roam around the room looking for anyone familiar that she could cling to for the rest of the night. Parties were not her scene but she decided to not waste another weekend away in dorm room alone, so here she was.

Clouds of smoke hung heavy in the air giving the room an allure, though she didn’t find it enticing. People either leaned in close to whisper to each other or shouted over the music and bodies were too close for comfort to her. She wished the party would end so she’d have a socially acceptable reason to leave.

However the sound police sirens infiltrating the smoky atmosphere was not what she had thought of when she imagined the party ended. Afterall she was nineteen with a bottle of some fruity drink in her hand. Panic ensued: people running all different directions, bottles dropping to the ground, doors slamming, and the yelling of the police officers as they tried to hustle everyone up. Typically Hinami wouldn’t avoid the law but she didn’t hold any direct responsibility for the party and so she ran. 

The night air was far cooler compared to the cramped kitchen she had been standing in previously. Each small breeze took one shade of color off her naturally pale cheeks. She kept running till she came to a small park, some solace she thought with a soft smile forming on her lips.

“Running from the law huh?” Came a deep, husky voice that startled her. She whipped around to see a boy she didn’t recognize lounging like one of those large predatory cats, oddly dangerous in their languid movements, holding a beer.

“I…no.” She pouted.

“You reek of weed and booze and the frat house is two streets over, either you’re dumber than you look or you’re embarrassed.”

“I wasn’t running from the law though, that would imply they’re looking for me directly and last I checked they aren’t.”

A smirk played on his lips making her face flame once more.

“Not so dumb afterall, you a law student or something.”

“English major, but my question is are you coming from that party?” Her eyes leading his gaze to the bottle in his hand.

“Oh yeah I am, they never look for the kids in the park it’s always the surrounding dorms and frats. But never the park two blocks over.”  
“So you’re badgering me for running and here you are.” She stepped closer to him.

“I wasn’t badgering you. It’s just odd a girl like you at a place like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She said arms crossing defensively. A snicker echos in the empty air.

“You’re a walking a+ community service kid.”

Hinami felt her cheeks flash with a hot shade of red at those words. Did she really give off the demeanour of someone who did community service and got A’s. His laughter came to her ears once more and that only heightened her embarrassment.

“Sorry you’re just really cute when you’re flustered.” He spoke in a oddly low voice. “I bet you can get real cute for me.” His eyes running along her body with a greed hidden in their depth.

“And you’re cute when you don’t talk.” She meant it as insult but she can see the glint in his eye increase.

“Think I’m cute huh?” He nearly purrs as he stands up, no longer resting on the wall behind him, and makes his way to her.

“No..I was just saying you’re…I like you better when you don’t talk.”

“Oh. So you like me.” A wicked smirk forms on his lips. The closer he gets the denser the smell of weed gets. The way he stalks toward her reminds her of the big bad wolf, the one who led little red riding hood astray.

“No, I wasn’t saying that either.” She placed emphasis on sounding calm into each word.

“For an English major you certainly don’t have a way with words.”

“Are you even in college?” She retorted trying to take the attention he’s placed on her against her will and give it back to him.

“Yeah but my major is undeclared.”

“So in other words you have no idea what you’re doing?”

“Eh, I’ll figure it out eventually.” He shrugged. The can in his hand clearly empty as it made a hollow sound when he tossed it into the trash can near by. He looked at his watch quickly and then his gaze turned toward the house that party had been at. “The police seem to be satisfied with their haul so I doubt they’ll still be out.”

“S..So it’s safe to go back home?” She asked trying to listen for any semblance of police sirens or even the reflection of the notorious red and blue lights. Either the intoxication, what little she had, was slowing her senses or it was safe to leave the secluded park.

“A girl like you might not be safe going home alone, let me walk you back.” He suggests. All traces of his smirk are gone making her believe in his sincerity.

“Fine.” She says feeling a sigh escape her smoke infested lungs. The crisp night air was helping clear her head but the smogged up room she was in still burns at her lungs. She catches a small glimpse of his smile, a real smile, before he turns and starts to walk.

“You coming…”

“Hinami.”

“Alright Hinami, let’s go then.”

“What’s your name?” She asked when she finally gets her feet to move and she catches up to his languid strides.

“Ayato.”

“Ayato.” She echoed in a voice as soft as the zephyr that rolls through the somber night air.

–

They reach her place after a long walk in silence. Ayato not making an attempt to speak and Hinami too riddled from his previous teasing to try to form a coherent sentence or to try to initiate small talk.

“Thank you Ayato.” She says giving him a careful smile–she didn’t want him to get the impression that she was even a fraction more grateful than she was–and a small wave.

“No problem, see you around Hina.” He says in an oddly controlled voice before he turns and walks away. She lingers in her doorway for a second longer than she intended, long enough to see him turn and give her a disgustingly cocky smirk before he faded into the night.

Damn him. Her door clicked shut and she exhaled a heavy breath she hadn’t realized she had trapped in her ribcage. “See you around Ayato.” Her smile widened just a hint, a barely noticeable hint at the thought of seeing him again.


	2. The Big Bad Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thought of seeing him again had plagued her however she didn't take the bait, instead he was the one who found her again. Wary of him and his intentions she doesn't know how to feel about seeing Ayato again.

She was seated in a coffee house, the type of atmosphere she liked, a book in front of her and a steaming mug of coffee between her hands. Her eyes gliding over the words with ease as she enjoys the relaxation of reading she was getting. A sip of coffee makes her tongue burn, still to hot to drink right now.

“You seem like the coffee type of girl.” A familiar gravelly voice nearly makes her fingers drop the cup in her hand. She looks up from her book that was resting on the table to see the boy from the other night, Ayato.

He stands with that same cocky stance as he had the night before. Her soft colored eyes roll at his words, as if he knew anything about her (or did he really?).

“I also seem like an A+ student,” a fraction of a laugh, more of a scoff but her voice is too fair to pull it off completely, “tell me what else you presume about me please.” She speaks in an annoyed tone, a frown touches her lips. 

“Well,” he sits down across the table from her–rudely inviting himself she thinks–, “you’re probably a nice person, kind. I bet you’re an only child. You were loved as a kid and you probably come from a comfortable home…”

The more he speaks the deeper her cheeks burn crimson. He’s hitting spots with accuracy and he’s only ever spoken to her once, so how did he draw these conclusions? How was he able to glance at her with those eyes, those really gorgeous eyes, and see all the things about her.

“Okay I get it.” She holds up her hands in a surrender notion.

“You’re just an easy read Hina.” He shrugs as if knowing all this and giving her a nickname, a personalized nickname, meant nothing to him.

A sigh.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You got to guess things about me, don’t I get a shot?” Her words are innocent, puerile, a smirk growing on her lips at the idea of playing him at his own stupid game.

“Hit me with your best shot.” His features radiating a feigned confidence. She can see the small cracks in this facade he has been playing. She saw it in his smile the night before, she saw it in the way he was genuine in walking her home (with no attempt to go into her home), she saw it in the way his face looked when he assumed no one was watching him.

He was…

“You pretend to be tough to hide something underneath, you’re smarter than you let on and I bet you’re a younger sibling. You probably grew up rough and often got into fights,” her doe eyes sliding toward the scars on his knuckles, “despite your rough edges I bet you’re a good man.”

A scoff returns her words.

“Good man?”

“Yes.” Calmly, and a really good one I’ll bet.

“You’re kidding yourself Hina.”

I am not. “Fine, maybe I am wrong.” She sips her coffee to fill the silence. He’s watching her, no, he’s studying her like a predator to prey. She wonders what crosses his mind when he thinks of her–wait, why should she care about that? It’s not like she liked him, not like her heart constricted when he spoke and certainly not like her insides rolled when he smiled.

No of course not, because girls like her did not like boys like him.

“Not entirely, I am the youngest. I have a shitty older sister.”

“Really?” She’s thankful for something to take her mind off of those fleeting thoughts.

“Hm, yeah she’s three years old and god so annoying.” His tone shifts when he says annoying making her not really believe his insults. “But I don’t wanna talk about her.”

“What do you wanna talk about?”

“You.” More crimson dusts her pale cheeks, the paleness making it all the more evident she was blushing.

“Don’t you already know enough?” A sip of coffee to hide the crescent of a smile.

“Well I have my guesses but that doesn’t mean I know you.”

“You’re going to have to try harder than this to get to know me then, and I want to know you as well, it's only fair.” She returns. As intrigued with him as she was he still made her wary. Wary enough to know when to pull back from his probing gaze that seemed to strip her the the bone.

“Will you give me the chance to try harder than?” His question seems sincere but the gleam in his eyes and the smirk revealing teeth makes her question his motives.

“Why should I?”

The sound he makes is somewhere between a laugh and a snarl. “You shouldn’t, but wouldn’t you regret it a little bit.”

“What makes you think I’d regret it?”

His eyes find their way to the book on the table and then back to her, her heart flutters. “You like adventure right? Stories and fairy tales? So why don’t you let me enhance that sense of adventure for you, huh Hina? What do you say?”

“I..” The way he read her and used her own thoughts–private thoughts–against her made her angry but there was something raw about him that she wanted to see more of. Ayato showed a lack of regard for consequences when he did something and she should find that dangerous but she wants to be closer to that fire he had in him, for it seemed warmer than the candle she was harboring in her.

“Fine, you get one shot.”

Another snarl. “You won’t regret it Hina.”


	3. Beauty And The Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was trying to understand the boy who seemed to be made of broken ribs and sharp teeth, however he was not too eager on her actually digging into him.

Standing in front of the mirror Hinami finds herself sighing in annoyance at her own delusions. Why was she even considering meeting up with him for an…outing (a date). It was utterly outrageous of her to even consider him but here she was buttoning up her coat tightly over her dress before deciding this was enough.

It’s not like she needed to impress him.

Her fingers shake as she opens her door. Damn it. But she luckily he had told her to meet him downtown which gave her time to collect herself. Hinami breath, relax and take a deep breath. It’s not as if she liked him, right?

“It’s now or never.” She muses before crossing her threshold of comfort into the cool autumn air her feet heavily making their way toward the shopping district he told her to meet him at.

–

Hinami’s eyes roam all over the vicinity but she doesn’t spot Ayato. She feels embarrassment set into her as thoughts of being pranked tempt her to doubt him and his intentions.

No.

He wouldn’t waste her time like this, as he had seemed so eager to prove himself to her the other day when they sat face to face in the cafe. She hopes there is a better man buried under his grotesque animal like exterior.

“Hina?” She turns and spots Ayato running toward her, red coating his pale cheeks. “Sorry, I woke up late and then had to run here.” A pant or two before he continues, “I’m pretty out of shape I guess.”

“I thought you weren’t going to show.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

She shrugs and places a finger to her lips trying to find the reason she’d tell him. “I thought you were pranking me.”

He laughs, really laughs, and it stirs something inside her like a gritty rock being tossed into a crystalline pond–ripples disturbing the peace. She finds herself, despite herself even, laughing with him. “Hina why would I waste all this time just to prank you.”

“No idea.”

“Relax, I wanted you to get to know me didn’t I?” His words are simple but the tone he speaks in,again, makes her nervous.

“Yeah but-”

“I’m not a man to go back on my words.”

“You’re not technically a man..” She mumbles which makes him laugh again. Ayato was most likely a year or two older than her but she didn’t consider nineteen/twenty to be a man, not yet.

“Okay you got me there, anyway come on Hina.” He holds out to hand to her and all her senses tell her not to take it but for some reason she does, after all it’s just holding hands right? His hands are rough, dry and cold against her lotion treated palms. But she doesn’t complain she just accepts the difference between them.

They start walking now heading down the strip of stores. Ayato is quiet at first as they walk down the cobble stoned street. To any passerbyer they’d appear as your average college couple out for a stroll, but they were just mix-matched people trying to figure each other for some reason unbeknownst to either.

“Are you going to tell me about yourself or are we just walking?”

“I don’t really have a way with words so I’m hoping you could try the game I played on you.”

“The..the what?”

“When I guessed all that about you, well I figure we spend the day together and you get better idea of who I am.”

“Eh?” She says stopping them mid walk. “Wait I wanted you to tell me about yourself.”

“Where is the fun in that.”

“This”–she sighs and looks up to meet his gaze–“wasn’t supposed to be a fun adventure-”

“Hina didn’t I tell you I would take you on an adventure, you didn’t think I was kidding about that?” His gaze is lazy but she can see something buried under those cool colored eyes, something more dangerous, a lurking presence.

“Well I didn’t think I’d be solving a puzzle.”

“If you’re too afraid to be wrong after spending the day with me than that’s fine by me, I can walk you home and-”  
“No. Let’s keep walking.”

A smirk: “As I thought.”

–

They’re seated now on a park bench with a fraction of space between them. Colors splash across the horizon as the sun sets in front of them. He’s silent as she gathers her thoughts ready to tell him all she’s learned about him.

They had spent the day walking together and she had payed attention to him like a hawk. She watched everything he did and she made sure nothing went unnoticed by her eyes. Watched the way he talked to people and how he reacted when they spoke back. He was gilded masquerade of a boy–portraying this clever act of masochism only to hide his true nature.

“So Hina?”

Easy now, you got this.

“Well..”

She’s nervous as his eyes meet hers. She had worked through her thoughts and she hoped he didn’t shut her out if her words cut deep.

“Come on Hina.”

“You’re scared, of a lot. I can see it when you talk to people, your face is calm but your body tenses just slightly as if you’re ready to fight. As well you’re not used to people treating you with kindness and so you prepare yourself. You most likely got into a lot of fights when you were younger so you’re unsure how to handle people. You really don’t have a way with words, but I assume a way with your fists. However there’s a part of you”–she hopes she isn’t wrong when she says what she was about to say because this was what she was most doubtful about but also what made the most sense about him–“that is a scared little boy who wants to be saved.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Hina you’re pretty right and I give you props for that but don’t assume I need to be saved.” His voice dangerously sharp. His whole demeanour had shifted like an attack dog told to pounce. She must have hit a nerve for else why would he react this way to her words.

“A-Ayato…”

“I’m the thing you save people from.” The weight of his words seems to physically impact him as his shoulders tense.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Believe what you want, a girl like you can never get it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughs, though this time it doesn’t cause her to smile, it’s cruel and cold. “You’re a loved little girl who gets what she wants when she wants.”

She grits her teeth at his words because he was right. She was loved and she was cared for and no matter what she says she can’t close the gap between the people they are. Ayato was alley fights and bloodied knuckles and she was bookshops and coffee that was too sweet. They were on two ends of the spectrum.

“You’re right.” Is all she can say. He stands and she thinks of reaching out to him but she holds herself. It isn’t worth it, she can’t comfort someone like him if she doesn’t understand his life.

“Sorry Hina I wasted your time I guess.” His words are hanging in the air like he hopes she’ll reach out for him.

“Don’t be.” Is all she can muster.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” He doesn’t have to say that but he does leaving a miniscule glimmer of hope in her heart. She watches him leave but something in her hopes this isn’t the end.

“I hope to see you around too.” She tells him in a soft voice. She’s sure he doesn’t hear her but when she sees him still and tense for a moment she thinks he did hear her. But he continues to walk away from her.

Don’t worry Ayato Kirishima I will understand you, I’ll find a way to mingle our worlds till we ourselves coalesce into something more than what we are currently. I’m coming for you and your twisted world, that’s a promise. She stands and tries to think of how she’d recapture him into her arms.

Let the adventure begin.


	4. The Fox And The Hound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She would show him--give him a reason--why he should let her be in his world. Hinami was not going to go easy on him, now that her sights were set on the boy with bloodied knuckles.

How dare her and her doe-like eyes see right through him. He groans as he sits himself down on the edge of the roof of his apartment building, slim fingers bring a blunt to his lips. He thinks of how she would scold him had she seen this and it causes him to pause his movements–only for a moment though because he brings the blunt to his lips and takes a slow, needy drag. The air is cold around him and he’s grateful for the momentary warmth the smoke gives him.

“Fuck her.” He growls letting out the smoke that burned his lungs. She wasn’t wrong about him which is what irked him the most about that. He had not expected her to shove those pretty little fingers into his chest digging up all the gore underneath his skin.

To be truthful Ayato assumed she was going to make simple guesses, vague in nature, and maybe hit one close to heart. He was not anticipating her words to strike him down like that, after all he had promised to let her know him.

Hah.

It was his own selfish fault in the end. He wanted to break her, take those fragile cheekbones and those pastel colored lips and her soft, porcelain skin and just break her. He thought tempting her with getting to know him would give him an edge he had no idea the tables would be turned around on him. Ironic that the girl who seemed so fragile was the one doing the tearing.

Maybe he should let her in.

No, a head shake, no way.

He’s let people in before and only ended up hurt, in both the physical and mental sense. He was not ready to open up to a girl like her–a girl so used to being treated with kindness and gentleness–who would just shut him away if he she knew all he had done in his lifetime.

No way he was not risking it.

Another hit from the blunt to clear his mind; “damn that girl is going to ruin me.”

–

They were different, from two completely different upbringings, and she knew that. She also knew that his brutal nature didn’t mean he was inherently bad and her soft exterior didn’t mean she was weak. Why couldn’t they get along? So, she thinks seated in her room, how to show him she wasn’t a doll to be handled with caution.

Ah, that’s it.

She’d go to one of his parties, she’d show him that she could handle herself. Hinami had frequented parties before, clearly, it’s how they met, but she wasn’t the type to actively participate in that scene. Hmph–she’d show him though.

She was going to go and prove to him she–the good little girl–could handle his world of drugs, sex and alcohol. She wasn’t going to let his threats of how she was too soft for him stop her, no she would plunge right into the gritty world he came from. She only hoped she didn’t lose herself while she tried to find him.

“Just you wait Ayato, the hunt is on.”

–

Ayato didn’t agree to come here originally, however, after the blow he had from earlier due to Hinami he needed to get trashed. The house was smaller than the frat house he had caught her running from the night they met. It was Eto’s–she was old enough to have a job and her own small place.

“How’s your drink Ayato-kun?” She sings.

“It’s fine.” He says. In truth it burned and made his stomach clench, whatever hard liquor she drowned in the juice was doing him good.

“I’m glad!” He sees her bring her fingers together in a knit fashion–her tick, she was up to something.

“Eto?”

“Don’t spoil my fun Ayato-kun.” She scolds him lightheartedly. Whatever fun she had planned he hoped it was innocuous and didn’t involve him. She gives him a quick cheek kiss–such an odd girl–before vanishing like smoke on a windy day into the crowd.

Speaking of smoke, he could use a hit. He finds his way to the room crowded with the stoners, mostly his friends anyway, and they don’t even hesitate to ask what he needs before a blunt is slide between his fingers. Huh, high twice in one day, how pathetic. He takes the hit regardless of whatever reputation this would give him (at the moment he didn’t care what substance went into his body).

His lungs begin to burn with the intrusion of the smoke but the heavy feeling Hinami left in him starts to subside. It was ingrained in his bones now but at least with this smoke hazing his mind he could pretend she didn’t rip his insides to shreds with her words.

His group is talking about things he doesn’t care for. Funny, he used to care about this but what he really wanted to talk about was how he couldn’t sleep at night because of her. How he was itching to just go back to her and stop his words from tumbling out and ruining the one good thing that had come into his life. How he thought he was being selfless but he was probably only letting the wound fester instead of amputating the damn limb that was infected.

After several harsh hits he goes to sip from his cup hoping to lose his mind completely. Oh, it’s empty he thinks with a slight sigh. “I’ll be back boys, gotta refill.” He says shaking his cup before standing, hardly, and making his way back to the room where the drinks were.

It’s mostly empty save for a girl pinned to the wall and two boys. He assumes all is well till he gets closer and he hears her speak: “stop it, p-please..I c-can’t…s-s..top…” Even in this wasted state he can’t tell it’s her. What the fuck was she doing here–was this Eto’s doing, it must be what she was giggling about earlier. Damn her. He drops his cup not even thinking of the mess it makes and walks toward the two boys.

“Didn’t you hear the lady, she said stop.” Ayato is close to snapping but he doesn’t want Hinami close to these men when he does start colliding knuckles to bones.

“Oh Ayato-kun, don’t be so prude.” One sneers. So they knew him, or knew of him.

“Yeah, she doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

“Hina?”

“A..Ayato is t-that you?” Her voice is childlike making him feel bad for the way his eyes trail down to her body–and for the thoughts he thinks as he eyes her tight blouse and even tighter skirt.

“Yeah it’s me,” he looks at the boys who are on her sides with sinister grins, “do you want these men to fuck you Hina?”

“F-Fuh-Fuck?” She trips over her words, a combination of alcohol and embarrassment.

“Yeah, because that’s what they’re gonna do.”

“N..No I don’t.” She’s coherent with those words and he glares at the boys who are around her as if to say ‘I told you so’.

“See?”

“Come now Ayato, haven’t you ever fucked a girl because she was drunk and easy.” One argues–his grip on Hinami tightening making her squeak–with a disgusting smirk. Ayato wants to rip it from his face but he holds it in, she’s still between them.

“No.”

“Even one like,” his eyes travel down her body “her.”

“No.”

“A-Ayato.” Hinami says and before he knows it she’s throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms tightly around him–again, a childlike action–and sobbing into his chest. “W-Wanted…I…j-just wanted…” a sniffle “t-to make you l-like m..me.” The boys must’ve decided this wasn’t worth their effort anymore because the leave with rude comments under their breaths. If Hinami wasn’t clinging to him he’d go bash their faces in.

“Make me like you?”

“Mhm.” She nods her head vigorously. “Y-You said…we-I w..was different from you…and..I-I want..wanted to make you s-see I wasn’t.” She’s throwing a fit over this, must be the alcohol clouding her judgement, he’d doubted she would spill all this had she been in control of her tongue. Though her words make his ribs ache and his lungs burn far more than the smoke from earlier.

“I just didn’t think you’d like me,” (if you knew the real me) “it was the other way around Hina. I do like you.” He tells her soothing her hair.

“Y..You do?” She hiccups a bit and the tears are starting to slow. She was a mess and he needed to bring her home before she ended up passing out on him and he was the one accused of taking advantage of her.

“Yes, now let’s get you home please.”

“I..w-wanna stay with you.” She whines. Such a childish drunk he thinks with an eyeroll, he could take her back to his place and just take the couch?

“Fine.” Even drunk and nearing unconsciousness she’s still easy for him to hoist into his arms. She lays her head on his chest and drums her fingers to the beat of his heart–oddly it’s soothing to him. “We can go back to my place.”

–

She sits with a pout on her lips when he begins to undress her–mostly because a tight blouse and miniskirt were not good sleeping materials, and because it seems she spilled alcohol on it as well. He feels more like a father getting his child ready for bed instead of a boy undressing a drunk girl.

“Ayato, I’m f-fine.” She tries to argue but he can see her body teeter the minute his hands let her go. He keeps his eyes on her face as he finishes undressing her. As much as he’d kill to see what she looked like under her clothes he was not going to be a pervert.

“You’re not fine, now shut up and let me finish getting you ready for bed.” He slips a sweatshirt of his over her head and it luckily covers the more revealing parts. “Stay awake for one more minute.” A whine of protest but she does as told.

He returns with a small slice of bread, advil, and water. “Eat the bread, it’ll help absorb the alcohol, take the advil for your headache that will come, and drink the water.” She doesn’t argue, thankfully, and does what he instructed. Once completing the ‘I don’t want to be sick in the morning’ tasks he lets her lay down.

“Thank you.” She mumbles as her eyes shut.

“You’re welcome, Hina.” He returns and shuts the light off. He hoped she would not remember him admitting he liked her in the morning, that would not be good for him.

However her drunken pleas hang heavy in his chest as he gets ready himself. She wanted to make him see that she wasn’t different from him? Did she really go to that party with the intent to prove to him he was wrong? What an odd girl, an odd and dangerous girl. Her will is impressive but she nearly got raped because of it–because of him.

He’s at a crossroad now: he could be with her and protect her closely or he could sever her heartstrings for good so she’d stay away from him. Damn it, what was he going to do with her? He decides it’s a waste to think while his mind is so hazed, he’ll decided what to do with her in the morning.

He lays on the couch, probably the most uncomfortable couch in the world, and tries to sleep. Though it was hard knowing Hinami was drunker than she her frail body was used to sleeping in the next room. Ayato set an alarm for every hour on his phone so he could check on her. Dealing with sleep deprivation and a hangover tomorrow was going to kill him, but that stupid girl and her stupid smile and her stupid giggly voice were worth it in the end.

“Well better get some sleep before I have to wake up in an hour.”


	5. Goldie Locks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in a stranger's bed was startling, but the house she woke up in was even more startling. Was she finally going to get a glimpse of the mystery that was Ayato Kirishima?

Hangover’s are slow demons. You don’t wake up and suddenly get hit with the aftermath of the night before, no, it’s a tortuous slope. Ayato opens his eyes and feels the faint notion of a headache behind his eyes. He sits up and finds a pain in his head starting, a small throbbing pain that grows steadily. Then as he stands his stomach clenches and his knees begin to feel weak. 

“Fuck.”

Slowly--as if he was going to fall onto his knees any moment--he makes his way to the bathroom. He does collapse at last, though he’s in front of the toilet now. The pain in his stomach growing rapidly the longer he sits here. He thinks he’s fine till a sudden wave of dizziness passes over him and he’s throwing up all the vile contents of the night before.

Odd he thinks, once he flushes the contents away and sits, he had never been one to puke. He thinks back to the night before and remembers having that drink before a blunt--an novice move--which resulted in what most people call “the spins”, you get dizzy and then puke your organs out the next morning, some even that night.

He’s coated in sweat and smells like throw up, not very appealing, so he figures a shower is in order before Hinami wakes up. He turns the water on and sheds last night’s clothing. The warm water is good for his head but it doesn’t help his stomach, though he doubts he can throw up much more. He just hopes that he’s out of the shower before she wakes up for he figures she’d probably freak out if she finds the house “empty”.

\--

Rolling over Hinami finds herself waking up with the after effects of a hangover. She groans and reaches to switch on her lamp--where is that stupid lamp? She opens her eyes to find herself in a bed unbeknownst to her. Abruptly she sits up and takes inventory of the situation: she was in a bed that wasn’t hers, a sweatshirt that wasn’t hers covers her, and she was missing her clothes.

She reaches into her memories for some piece of the night before. She remembers those boys, oh no. Was she at their house? Again she looks around and takes note of a glass of water and advil on the nightstand table, hmm those boys don’t seem like the caring type? She also notes she wasn’t naked under the mysterious sweatshirt--again something she didn’t expect from boys like them. Looking toward the end of the bed she finds her clothes from the night prior neatly folded. 

Odd. 

She tries to remember more of the night before but it’s hazy blur and her mind aches the more she tries to dig into her memories. The only way to find out whose house she was in was to leave the bedroom and hope to find the person responsible for this.

She creeps her way into the living room, the room adjoining the bedroom, and finds it in a disarray of coffee mugs, comics, unopened text books, and a photograph on the coffee table. She picks it up and sees two small children--one an older female with a wide grin and the other a younger male who looks less confident but he still smiles. Both children look so similar she assumes they’re siblings.

“Ayato?” And the girl must be the sister he talks about then. 

“Oh shit, that’s embarrassing.” Comes a voice from across the room. Her head whips around and she sees the target of her thoughts standing in front of her. “That’s such an old photo.” His smile is crooked and a faint flush is on his cheeks.

She’s not focusing on his words instead her mind--and her eyes--are drawn to the fact that he was naked, save for a towel around his waist, and his body was dripping with water. She’d like to say she wasn’t fazed by him fresh out of the shower but she can’t. If she found him attractive before she was drowning in him now. His torso is lean and muscular, perfect for someone who fights a lot. And his arms--what she wouldn’t give to be wrapped up in them. 

“Hina?” He asks finally adjusting her focus back to his words. 

“Uh, yeah sorry.” She blushes. 

“It’s cool.” He shrugs though she catches a glimpse of his smirk right before it vanishes. 

She attempts to change subject: “W..Why am I here?” 

“You don’t remember?” He sounds relieved at what she said--how peculiar. 

“No, not really. My memories are hazy at best.”

“Well you were being harassed and I rescued your dumbass and then”--he laughs for a second as if the next part is hilarious--“you jumped into my arms saying how you just wanted to impress me.” He’s laughing heavily now, the laugh that first made her heart beat for him but now it makes her cringe from her own embarrassment.

“I-I did not.” 

“You did, then you begged to stay with me so I let you sleep in my room while I took the couch.” He points to the blankets and pillows on the aforementioned couch. “And now here we are.” 

“Well thank you.” She says with a small nod. He was acting different, did she do something last night to change his behavior? Perhaps her words--drunken words--got through to him afterall? She wasn’t sure what stirred this change but whatever did she was grateful for it.

“Anyway, are you hungry?” This time he’s the one to change the subject.

“Huh?”

“I said are you hungry, cause if you are I have nothing here besides an old box of cereal and ramen noodles so why don’t we go out for breakfast?”

A glance down at the attire she was wearing: “in this?”

“Relax, my sister sometimes leaves clothes when she spends the night.” He informs her. She’s lead back to the bedroom where Ayato produces a t-shirt and jeans. He also grabs clothes for himself. The look on her face makes him laugh once more: “I’m gonna change in the bathroom, you can change in here.”

He exits shutting the door behind him leaving her alone to change. She slips out of his sweatshirt and begins to dress in his sister’s clothes. The size difference is evident--the jeans are rolled up at the end to compensate for the height difference and the shirt is tighter around the bust making, to her dismay, her cleavage more noticeable. 

Ayato knocks and she tells him to come in. He also takes notice of the way they fit on her, especially her top half. She coughs to take his attention off of her chest. “It’s better than just my sweatshirt.” Is all he says.

A sigh, a glare, and then a defeated smile. 

“You ready then?”

“I guess.”

\--

“Basically you were surrounded by these two gross boys and I swooped in and saved your ass. Than you jumped into my arms crying about how you wanted to impress me and show me you weren’t too different from me.” He’s reiterating his earlier story at her request. 

“God, that’s so embarrassing.” She sips her coffee to hide her reddened features.

“Then I was going to take you home but you insisted in staying with me.”

“And so I slept on your bed?”

“Hm, I woke up every damn hour to check on you.” He says, as if to show how tired he was he takes a large sip from his cup. Hinami’s eyebrow raises at that.

“You woke up every hour to check on me?”

“Yeah a dumbass like you drinking more than she should might've gotten sick or gone unconscious.” He shrugs like the idea of checking on her hourly was simple. A smile presents itself on her lips and he looks at her with a confused expression. “What?”

“It’s very kind of you.”

“It’s called being a decent human being.” He brushes it off. Their food arrives shortly after he speaks and she can tell he’s eager to have some reason not to speak as he digs straight into the pile of pancakes in front of him. 

She’s a softer eater, taking her time to cut her food and taking small bites. He’s vigourous to devour every last crumb on his plate and it makes her smile at how childlike it was. How odd to see a boy like him acting with such normalcy. She watches him gorge himself and she can’t hold her bubbling laughter back any longer. 

Mouth still full of food: “W-What?” 

“It’s just funny how you seem so normal right now.” 

“Normal?” He finally swallows the food in his mouth. 

“Mhm, the bad boy on campus digging into pancakes like a child.” She’s laughing more now and that only makes him pout.

“I’m not ‘the bad boy’”

“Just a bad boy then?”

His laugh is softer than usual: “yeah I suppose.”

She didn’t want to taint the mood so she doesn’t bring up the one thing that had been on her mind all morning: why was he so nice today? She still has a heavy feeling he left something out about the night before making him act this way. But she knows if she pries he’ll just push her away again. Getting close to him was like wading into the ocean, you push past one wave only to be hit with another one just as strong. It was a struggle but she could see the lighthouse at the end off all of this.

“So did you really go to that party to see me?”

A nod: “yeah, I guess your words really got to me and I wanted to prove myself. So much for that though.”

She feels his hand cover hers, it’s a hesitant gesture but then it grows solid. “What happened isn’t your fault, those guys were assholes and that would've happened at any party.”

“But it must’ve been”--she tries to find the right word to convey her own shame at what happened--“lame to see me failing in proving myself.”

“It’s the thought that counts, I mean you went to a party just to spite my words.” He lets out another softer laugh. “That was enough to impress me.” She glances up at him and sees him smiling to himself--a gentle smile that tugs at her heartstrings.

“R-Really?” She’s taken aback that he actually was changing his opinion on her. Maybe nothing more happened at the party like she suspected and he was just warming up to her. Her instinct tells her she’s wrong--something happened--but she refuses to dwell on that in the present moment, she had gotten what she desired in the first place: his attention. 

A silence ensues as they both return to their food. She was nearly done with hers at this point and Ayato had devoured his pancakes and was now making a dent in the large plate of bacon he ordered. He looks up at her for a flash of a second, then back down--he repeats this dance of glances several times before:

“So Hina.” He sounds nervous, a word she didn’t think could be associated with Ayato Kirishima.

She sips her coffee: “hm?”

“The last time we hung out I was kinda rude, so how about you let me make up for it?”

“Make up for telling me off?” She scoffs, though it’s half hearted. 

“Uh yeah,” he’s scratching his head nervously, “let me take you on a real date.”

“D-Date?” She almost chokes on her food. Sure she had grasped his attention, but she presumed it was a miniscule grab. Now he was asking her out?

“I mean we don’t have to call it that-”

“No, a date sounds fine.”

“How’s tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night is good.”

“It’s a date then.”


	6. Black Swan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Around and around they twirl and around and around he's wrapped around her like a love-sick fool.

The next night rolls around with dark clouds and nervous pit in her stomach. Her eyes roaming over the silky, diaphanous dress that adorned her curves. Her pout fractures the princess-esque image she sees in the mirror.

A sigh perches on her lips. 

She feels like she doesn’t belong in this, as if she should just retire the dress for jeans and a sweatshirt. Of course she wore skirts and simple dresses but nothing like this. Nothing that washed over her body in such a way you could see the dips of her hips, the curves of her breasts and ass--it was so exposing. But Ayato insisted she wore something extravagant. 

“Dancing?” Her voice caught in a small laugh.

“Yeah how about it?” He sounds unsure of himself, like this idea was something he didn’t do typically--the kind of nervousness you have when you jump into unknown territory. 

“You don’t seem the type.”

A pout: “I can dance.”

“Okay fine, sounds fun.”

Hinami still felt the idea of going out dancing was an odd idea for a first date--but alas Ayato was an odd boy so wasn’t it fitting? She just takes another lengthy breath and places a small smile on her pink coated lips. He was supposed to be taking her to some nightclub who had a ball gown and tie theme night on Friday’s. 

The door knocks pulling her from her lingering thoughts. She moves to the door--on unsteady feet due to the heels--and finds Ayato standing in the doorway. His face is mangled with three expressions in a matter of seconds: shock, awe, and adoration. He was not helping the butterflies in her ribcage. 

“You look...lovely.” His voice wavers, he’s nervous. She can see the uneasy tint in his eyes and the way a faint trace of red crosses his cheeks. Her heart began to flutter at the sight of him so vulnerable, so, she couldn’t find a word to describe what he was but whatever it was she wanted more of it--like a child having sweets for the first time.

“You look just as nice.” She says. And it was true, for a boy of rugged jeans and torn t-shirts he cleaned up well. Black pants, a white button up shirt and a black tie--simple and yet elegant. 

“Touka helped me.” 

“Speaking of her, when do I get to meet her?”

“If it’s up to me, never.”

“Oh come one.”

“She’d just embarrass me.”

“I think you could do that on your own.” Ayato rolls his eyes at that comment. He reaches for her hand and she takes his. 

“Ready?”

“Mhm.”

\--

The club was soft--cold color decor and low lighting with a smooth bass thumping through the room. It was not too packed to the point of her wanting to leave but it also held enough people that had they danced no one would pay too much attention. 

“Let’s go”

“R-Right now?” She had never actually danced before and she had hoped she could watch everyone else first.

“Yes.”

“I’ve, uh never”--begrudgingly--“danced before”

“Don’t worry, just follow my lead.”

He leads her with ease to the dance floor. Her heart hammering to the beat of the song playing around them. Ayato--true to his word of knowing what to do--takes the lead. A hand is placed on her hip and the other guides her hand to his shoulder and then he brings their free hands together. And the dancing begins as the spin around the floor with an airy ease, two bodies drifting through the night.

It was like the movies as they spun round and round and round--her dress twirling around them like constellations in the somber night sky. His eyes ever watching her and hers flitting all around taking in the scene with that wanderlust look she always seemed to have buried in the soft brownness of her eyes.

It's just you and I tonight:

A dip, a twirl, a lift.

The butterflies trapped in the spaces between her ribs are begging to get out. She’s falling for him she thinks--really and truly falling for him. She had always found him to be handsome and a mystery she wanted to solve but she didn’t pause to think she’d fall for the boy made of nightmares and bloody knuckles.

Such a foolish girl--falling for a boy who would break her. But she couldn’t stop herself, he was rude and confusing and sometimes he went back on his words but she wanted him--all of him. All those flaws she spotted in him, the ripped soul, the anger, the hatred, the pain--she would take it all if it meant he was hers.

Why don't you figure my heart out?:

He’s trembling as he holds her and prays she doesn’t notice. He was tripping over his own desires now cause oh god did he want her. He wanted those porcelain lips to speak his name in that soft way of hers. He wanted her to flush her cheeks at him and to giggle when he made a lame joke. But mostly he wanted her to understand him, to really know him and accept him.

Such a foolish boy--letting his heart leap out on faith. She was a girl of fairy tales and he was a boy of horror movies, two worlds apart. But here she was with him despite his outlashes, despite his crudeness, despite the pain he knew he’d give her. She was here and that was enough for him to let go into her.

Cause I remember that I like you:

She’s smiling widely now, lips parted ever so slightly. He’s an easy dancer and the way he spins them round and round makes her feel like she’s floating on air. In his arms she feels she will not fall, she could be safe wrapped up in him. 

In a quick move he pulls her so her chest is to his. She can feel his breath on her face, and she can hear the subtle panting he is making. 

“Hina?”

No matter what I found:

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?” He barely gets the words across his trembling lips. He had never been nervous about kissing a girl before but she made his confidence seem evanescent. She nods and he leans connecting their lips together. 

A spark. An explosion. A light forming in the darkness he had so lived, so buried himself in.

She tastes like he imagined, like sugar. And her lips are soft against his as he moves slowly--tenderly and nervously--with such a care he had never had before. He wanted to make sure the taste of her would burn into his mind, he wanted to take his time and truly feel her against him--all her soft, uneasy movements, each breath she takes, each small sound she makes, all of it. 

He pulls back allotting them both a breath. His heart is burning with a fear he had not felt in a long time--it made him remember he was alive. He was terrified of how deeply he fell for her, how quickly she was capturing his thoughts and desires. It scared him to the core but he was willing to fight it for her.

They resume their dancing, though their bodies are a fraction closer than when they had begun. Her soft features seem to be twisted in thought and he worries--was she over thinking what happened? Was she going to admit she didn’t want him in that way? Was she going to steal the light she granted him like the gods did to the humans in the Greek myths. Was he going to be chained to a rock and have his insides torn out for that fire?

“I think you’re wrong.” She speaks suddenly taking him from his tortured thoughts. 

“About?” He’s afraid--petrified and he can feel each beat of his heart threaten to crack open his ribs. 

Her smile is soft: “the kind of person you are. I’ve figured it out though”

Oh.

“Didn’t you already call me a coward on the inside.” 

“I was wrong, ish. It’s a bit more than you being scared deep down.”

“Well enlighten me then.” 

“On the outside you’re rough, jagged even and you come across as this monster almost.” She pauses for a fraction of a second but it seems like hours. “But your soul is something else.”

A scoff: “my soul?”

“Mhm, it’s battered and worn out but it still has this desire to protect.” She speaks with such an ease it’s hard to believe she was once more destroying the walls he worked so hard to build.

“How do you know?” 

“That day we went for a walk, anytime anyone vaguely threatening came near us you stepped closer. And again at the party you pulled me out of there.”

“Any decent guy would’ve helped you at the party.”

“Not one as awful as you claim yourself to be.” She has him, it’s so obvious. Anybody walking by could see the grip she has on his heart. The more they spin around each other on the dance floor the more his heart begins to spin around her.

“You’re something else.” 

She’s giggling again, that airy and sing song giggle of hers: “And so are you.” 

They resume their fluid dancing, though now his nerves have slowed. A light countenance has taken over her features and she starts to move with more a fluid gait than she had previously held. He lets his mind relax and let’s his body take over: matching her pace and allowing their bodies to tangle together in the same way stars collide together to form something bigger than they were before. 

If this was falling in love than perhaps it wasn’t too bad. 

\--

“I had fun.” She says. They’re standing in front of her door, his jacket slung over her shoulders to keep her warm. 

I had more than fun he thinks but: “Me too Hina.”

“Could we do this again.”

“Dancing?”

“No, another date.”

“You like coffee right?”

“Yeah”

“Well, my sister owns a cafe let me take you there.”

“Didn’t you not want me to meet her?”

“Well she’s kind of bossy and insists she meets you.” He rolls his eyes--and though he has on a look of causality about it she suspects he’s actually quite nervous.

“What have you told her about me?”

“Nothing, she just knows I went on a date and”--in a slightly more feminine voice he quotes her.--“I want to meet the girl who put you in a nice suit”

She’s laughing now at his rendition of his sister’s words. Her head tilts up to him and she looks so lovely with the moonlight casting off her fragile features, god she was beautiful. 

A smile: “Sounds lovely.” 

“Good, so want me to pick you up around nine tomorrow?” 

“Mhm.”

“See you tomorrow Hina.” And he turns to walk away.

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Your jacket.”

“Keep it, I can get it back tomorrow morning.” His smile is flashed at her and he sees the faint tint of pink on her cheeks--point for Ayato Kirishima. 

“Okay, good night Ayato.”

“Good night Hina.” 

\--

The scent of him lingers, the ghosts of his lips still on her lips, and the overwhelming feeling of desire makes her heart pound as she lays in bed in nothing more but her under garments and his jacket. She shuts her eyes and images he was there with her, his arms wrapped around her--fingers trailing across her exposed flesh.

And they would just lay there and soak up the closeness of each other.

God she wished he was here with her now, should she have invited him in? No--he would certainly get the wrong idea if she asked him to spend the night with her and while she does think of him in that sense she was clawing for a more innocent intimacy at the moment. And maybe that’s another difference, she had a delicate sense of the word intimacy and she presumed his sense of the word obscene and violent.

She’d just have to find that out when she got there, for now she should get some sleep since she was to get up early and meet him at his sister’s cafe. She lays under the covers and curls into a small ball and she dreams of a princess at the ball being wooed by a prince in disguise.


	7. Alice in Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siblings were always a far off dream to Hinami so she is unsure what to expect when she meets Ayato's older sister.

The cafe is actually close to her place, thankfully since the bitter autumn air was starting to bite into her exposed skin. Ayato had been rambling, odd for him since he wasn’t a talker, on and on about his sister. Her name was Touka and she was three years his elder. They were on uneasy terms because she was always after him about his life and he found it suffocating.

“My dad died when we were young and that doesn't help the riff between us.” He continues on. “She found peace in his death and went to school, I didn’t.” A shaky shrug makes her think he’s faking nonchalance but she doesn't question his statement.

“So you don’t like her?”

“No, I love her of course but she and I don’t see eye to eye too often.” He just shrugs. “Anyway we’re here, try not to talk to her too much.” 

Hinami laughs at that: “isn’t this whole ordeal so I can meet her?” He holds the door open for her and ushers her inside. 

“I guess.” 

She’s greeted by a beautiful girl in an apron, smile adoring her lips.The girl’s wavy hair framed her gentle features and her eyes burned like a fire, but like a hearth, warm and gentle--unlike Ayato’s forest fire gaze. God were both siblings so flawless in their appearances?. If so she would hate to see what their parents had looked like, probably models or something.

“So this is her?” Touka says as the door shuts behind them trapping the cold outside. Hinami feels blush dusting her cheeks at the way his sister looked at her. She wanted her to like her so badly, perhaps more badly than she wanted Ayato to like her. 

“Yeah, try not to stare too hard.”

“She’s too pretty for you.” Touka says bluntly, another thing the siblings had in common. Ayato nearly lunges at her and she just laughs breaking up the heavy atmosphere. “Relax Ayato I’m just surprised you’re with a girl like her.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why don’t we sit down and I’ll get you guys some coffee and we can talk?”

A scoff: “We could not.”

“I want to.” Hinami says interrupting their banter. Both sets of eyes turn toward hers. Touka was only a bit taller than her so it was easy to meet her eyes. “I want to talk to her, she’s your family afterall.” She tells Ayato with a dismissive wave of her hand as he tries to interject. 

His sister claps her hands together in excitement. “Excellent, follow me.”

\--

They’re seated now at a table, Touka handing them each a cup of coffee--Hinami’s full of sugar and cream and Ayato’s black. She gives her a smile and thanks, Ayato just grunts and begins to drink his coffee.

“So you’re names Hinami?”

“Yup.”

“How’d you end up with him?” Right to the point.

“Touka-”

“We met after a party.”

She’s laughing, “of course.”

“And he walked me home.”

She eyes her brother. “Really?”

“Mhm, then-”

“She called me out my bullshit and I told her to fuck off.” Ayato jumps in now. Touka shoots him a glare that could kill. He shrugs. They both had the same angry face she thinks, another thing in common.

If Hinami could describe their relationship it was this: her voice gentle and easy to follow, his blunt and overpowering.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Don’t soften it, he’s a jackass.” Touka says like she was talking about the weather, she wasn’t being rude she was just being casual. Ayato scoffs but stays quiet.

“Okay yeah he was rude and he pushed me away.”

“He does that.”

“But then I went to a party and he saved me.” 

“Saved?” She looks at her brother who had been staring at his coffee and not the two girls conversing about him as if he weren’t there.

“She got too drunk and almost got attacked by two boys so I stopped them and took her home.”

“Took her home?” Tone testing.

“I slept on the couch for fucks sake Touka.” He doesn’t sound mad, he sounds almost sad, as if he was used to her seeing the worst in him. Hinami’s eyes find his and she sees that little bit of sadness in him--ah, so his sister was one of the things that had taken a piece of him. But there is no anger, no real bite, despite all his talk and all his insults at her. He loves her.

“He did.” Hinami confirms. “He’s not as bad as you think he is.” She adds quickly, she thinks the girl doesn’t hear her till lips smile at her. She was pretty when she smiled and it made Hinami happy to have been the reason for it.

“Oh, I know.”

“Bullshit.” Ayato mumbles under his breath.

“You know I don’t think you're awful.”

“And the sky is purple.” He retorts with an eye roll. His sister laughs once more and Ayato’s own grin is wide at that, he laughs now too. Hinami brings her eyebrows together in confusion, they were arguing and insulting each other and now they’re laughing? Is this what having siblings is like, cause if so she didn’t think she could handle them. 

They quiet their laughter and Ayato speaks: “what about you Touka, got any men climbing up your flat ass.”

A scoff: “my ass isn’t flat.”

“Besides the point.” A dismissive wave.

“Eh, I suppose there is one boy.”

“Name.”

“Fuck off.”

“Does Mr. Fuck off have a job?” Ayato snickers. The look on his sister’s face was as if she was trying to plot murder and her defense at trial simultaneously. 

“He does, but he’s none of your business.”

A howl of a laughter startles Hinami and, “but Hinami is your business?”

“I’m older.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m older so everything is my business.” She simply states. Her eyes gazing to meet Hinami’s as if to make her point clear to Ayato.

“Fuck off.”

“Gladly.” 

Hinami’s head spins as they volley back vulgar language and insults and yet they seem calm, casual even. It was like they had their own secret vernacular consisting of “fuck you”s and “shut up”s that somehow meant “I love you” and “I care about you.” 

Siblings were an enmia. 

“So you said you didn’t expect me to be with a girl like Hinami?” Ayato changes the subject. His sister give a small shrug of her shoulders, “elaborate Touka.”

“Hina what’s your major.”

“English.”

“You get good grades right?”

“Yeah.”

“Scholarship kid?”

A nod, why was she interrogating her? Ayato seems to be getting what she was putting out there as he shifts in his seat, fingers tighten their grip on his mug. 

“Your point?” He asks after a bit.

“My point, you're a punk who jacks off for fun and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.”

“Touka I swear-”

A hand stops him, “I’m not saying you’re a bad guy or that she’s too good for you I just thought you’d date someone with the same...habits as your own.” She’s careful with her wording.

“Habits?”

“Drugs, alcohol, the sleeping around, bad grades-”

“I get it.” He admits defeat. His sister was right, Ayato was a punk--a punk with a pretty face Hinami thinks--and she was a girl who behaved.

“I think she’s good for you.” 

“Huh?” Both him and Hinami say in unison. She laughs at their synchronism.

“I think she’s good for you, she seems sweet and smart.”

“You don’t think I’m bad for her?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“You’re not as bad as you make yourself out to be Ayato.”

Hinami smiles at that. The conversation fades out into something more casual--school work and jobs--she just lets the siblings catch up as she drinks her now cold coffee. She doesn’t mind though. Meeting his sister had given her an insight on him and she had been right, he wasn’t as bad as he pretended to be. Of course he got into fights, he did drugs and drank too much, his dick has probably explored more places than Christopher Columbus but he wasn’t a bad guy, just a little troubled--a little broken and a little harsh but a good hearted guy.


	8. Sleeping Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepless nights filled with the closeness of bodies is something Hinami only read of in her stories, until now, until him.

On his shoulders Ayato carried years of suffocated emotions: guilt, regret, remorse, anger, hatred, betrayal--all of these he kept shut away but they always weighed on him. 

 

Never does he speak of them-- _ why don’t you open up to me? _ \--and never does he try to understand them-- _ just tell me, I can help you _ . He can see Hinami’s doe-eyed expression begging him to trust her-- _ it’s unhealthy to hold your emotions in _ \--but he cannot, he should not, tell her how he really feels. 

 

_ (why? something inside him pricks at him.) _

 

Because she will leave me he responds.

 

Ayato finds himself on his knees and he finds his lips whispering to a foreign God for some guidance--he had never believed and he had never prayed but if anything was going to cause him to trust in a deity it was her--

 

“help me understand how to show her everything I’ve hidden for so long, amen.”

 

\--

 

Soft, soft, god she is so soft he thinks. His fingers--shaky--slip her blouse off her shoulders allotting for his fingers to graze her skin. Small patches of blush dust her skin, she was nervous. But heaven knows so was he. He brings his lips to hers and tastes her, burns the sugary sweetness of her into his lips. Her blouse falls to her elbows and his hands move to cup her breasts--handfuls even in his large hands. For such an porcelain girl she was gifted with the body of a vixen. 

 

A moan elicits and he feels it vibrate across his lips. He fumbles in his ministrations, she was making him nervous over some simple groping--damn her. 

 

“A-Ayato.” She says pulling back, her eyes half lidded and lips pursed (fuck, he thinks he’s going to cum right here).

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’m-”

 

“I know.”

 

“You do?”

 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

“B-But...you don’t want this?”

 

Time stops and his body freezes, was she doing this because she thought he wanted it? His chest aches once more, weeks ago he’d give anything to have her under him just because he wanted her body but now the idea that she’s just trying to please his needs makes him sick.

 

“Of course, but not if you’re only doing it for me.”

 

“I-” She falls short of whatever veiled argument she was about to use. Her eyes look away from him and he feels guilt settle into him. She was too good for him, way too good. He wanted this,her, so badly he could feel his muscles tensing but just a look from her and he halts.

 

“Do you want this Hina?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Think so?”

 

“They say sex brings you closer to someone.”

 

“And?”

 

“I want to be close to you.”

 

Confused he pauses, then: “we are.”

 

“No, you don’t let me in.”

 

Oh. 

 

_ Oh. _

 

“Hina-”

 

“I want to know you, everything about you.”

 

“I want you to.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, of course.” He sounds so desperate. Ayato had never begged for anything in his life but he’d begged for her trust. 

 

“Then...then why don’t you let me in?”

 

Begrudgingly: “I’m scared.”

 

And now it was her turn to pause. Soft lips form a frown and her eyebrows pinch together in an effort to think. She sighs and then her countenance melts like candle wax and its softer now. A tiny hand cups his cheeks--

 

“I’m scared too.”--suddenly he doesn’t feel alone anymore. 

 

( _ my dear boy, your prayers have been answered. _ )

 

He throws all those weighted emotions onto her. He throws his guilt into the way his lips tug at hers. He throws his regret into the way he holds so tenderly, so close (so very close). He throws his remorse into the way he takes his time to let her make the decisions. He throws his anger into the way he tosses aside their clothes to litter his floor. He throws his hatred into the way he purrs her name against her bare skin. And he throws his betrayal into the way he he curves their bodies so tightly together, in the way he lets her fit into him.

 

Her body is trembling but her gaze holds his tightly. He brings his lips to hers and whispers against them asking if she still wanted this. And she did. Ayato was no virgin but he felt an odd novelty in this, like he had never done this. What was the difference with her?

 

Sex was something Ayato delved in, something he could lecture on from all his experience. However making love was something he was a novice at. He was not sure how to take care of the girl. He didn’t understand what it was like to be so exposed and open to someone like this.

 

Until her. 

 

Until he and Hinami’s bodies become two parts of a machine. Two parts intermingling with a destined perfection. Her legs fit just right along the small of his back. His hands fight just right in the curve of her hips. And oh how he fit just right inside her. 

 

She’s so soft he thinks as his hands trail along her hips up to the curve of her breasts. She squeaked like a mouse when his hands begin to give attention to her breasts. Ayato returns that with a smirk and she just giggles at him, albeit a bit nervously. 

 

Ayato now moves his body so tenderly into hers and she matches his movements just right. They were a study in intimacy. A fumbling and yet sturdy bundle of movements and heated gasps. Ayato was finding his place in this world finally and it was her. It was the girl he knew he didn’t deserve. 

 

She’s a girl with stories brushing her lips and adventure in her eyes. She’s a girl he was bent on exploring--exploring every holy inch of her body like she was the treasure marked with an X. He was the boy with fangs for teeth and flecks of fire in his eyes. He was everything girls like her strayed from. And yet here she was opening herself to the vulnerability of his bite.

 

She gasps out his name and he’s falling. The way the syllables float through her voice sound just right. She causes him to still for a moment but he gathers himself and keeps moving hoping she didn’t notice his pause. He expects the fall graciously, he lets him fall into her--

 

he was falling in love with her. No: He was in love. 

 

As they finally come crashing down from their place in the stars Ayato realizes this. He comes to terms with the fact that he was in love with her. He stares at her and brings a hand to brush away a lock of caramel hair off her cheek.

 

He watches her breathing easily next to him. This was where he would leave normally. Normally. However this was not normally. He was caught up in the rhythm of her. Lingering and finding himself trapped in the dips of her hips, in the way her lips smiled, in the soft sounds of her breathing, in everything that encompassed Hinami Fueguchi. 

 

“Hina…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I-” so why then, couldn’t he say it?


	9. Princess and the Frog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's finally getting the chance to glimpse at the fractures of Ayato's life, however he's not too keen on letting her fully understand him.

There were many things Hinami had sworn against—snacks after 7, cigarettes, getting drunk, mixing patterns—and so she never predicted herself to be dating a boy who stood for everything she avoided. Was it in the curve of his smile that she felt safe? Was it the way he said her name like he was still trying to figure her out? What was it about Ayato Kirishima that she would drop her morals for?

It is not her; she was enwrapped in safety and comfort but here she was, in bed with the enemy—figuratively and literally.

She rolls over and gets a chance to glimpse Ayato whilst he slumbers. His eyes are shut peacefully and his lips part ever so slightly to allow for him to breath. He had a gothic sort of face; all sharp edges and dark colorings. His body was all taut muscles (muscles that wrapped around you last night—she blushes). For such a slender looking boy he had a hidden strength in the curves and synapses of his muscles.

Hinami also took note of the fading bruises that curled along his body. She remembers the day they first went out together and she noted his scarred hands and the way he was so tense. She worried who he was fighting to lead to this battered of a man.

Her fingers seem foreign to his world as she reaches to trace the outline of one of them. The coloring looking artistic—sad, a bit damaged, but beautiful. She starts to map out the other bruises and scars that litter his skin taking no notice to the stirring boy. His eyes focus on her and the way she was admiring the damage to his skin.

“H-Hina?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” She stops her ministrations, “sorry for waking you.”

“No, no you’re fine. Just...uh what were you doing?” He asks. The hint of insecurity hanging on his words.

“I noticed the bruising so I was just...curious.”

“Curious?” He echoes. Traces of sleep in his voice. He seems to fidget just a bit, like he was insecure of something.

“Hm, about who you are fighting.”

He stills. All muscles tensing and his body ever so slightly retreats from her touches. Hinami watches his retreat and she feels like he smacked her.

 

(why? Why does it hurt?)

 

“Ayato-”

“Drop it Hinami.” He snaps. His constricted demeanor finally uncoils like a snake as he lashes out. Ayato was dangerous; he was venom and sharpened fangs in one boy. Hinami foolishly thought she had tamed that side of him till now.

“Why?” Her voice is so soft, mousey almost. And the snake in Ayato jumps at the opportunity to attack the field mouse.

“Because it’s none of your fucking business.”

Her pout quivers as she feels sadness seeping through her bones. Ayato turns so he isn’t facing her anymore. She can see the way his muscles coil tightly, whether it was anger or defensiveness she’d never know. Her own anger is starting to mingle with her sorrow and it makes for a sick heavy feeling in her bones.

“What’s the point of this if we don’t open up to each other?”

A pause. Another pause. Her heart races. Then finally: “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you.” She nearly screams.

“Because I don’t.”

“How can you not?”

“Why does it even matter? Why do you care?” He is almost— _almost_ —shouting as well now. Her body tenses as she were going to fight, odd since she has never fought before.

“It matters because that’s what people in relationships do.”

“Who cares what other people do!” He is loud now, so loud her chest shakes as he speaks.

“It’s not healthy to bottle up everything like that. When you are with someone the point is to be able to open up to them!”

“Hinami, stop.” His voice is quiet but his tone is so overwhelmingly loud that it aches in her chest. She pulls back finally now. He takes notice of the weight that settles on both of them now (taking and taking from them both).

“If...if it was too personal you could’ve said so.”

Ayato finally turns to face her and his countenance melts to a softer one. He had taken notice of the tears starting to drip down her cheeks. A man of action and not words he was—his fingers move to wipe them away. But he is stopped by a slap.

“Don’t.”

“Hina…”

“You wanted me to know you and yet you’re shutting me out?” Her voice trembles but they both feel the heart behind it.

Silence.

“Huh? Explain that to me!”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Hurt?”

He stands now. The blanket he had wrapped lazily around his body falls. She saw him last night but not like this. Last night her eyes barely focused on detail and the darkness of the room kept her trapped in just her sense of touch and sound. His body is covered in scars and bruises, bitemarks and wide gashes that haven’t yet healed.

“Hurt.” He repeats.

“Wh...Wh-”

“I’m not proud of this.” He says moving to sit back down next to her. She can’t stop her gaze from counting the plethora of markings that decorate—desecrate?—his body.

“How?”

He avoids her gaze entirely now. He doesn’t seem to want to delve into what he was, what he did, and how he did it. She knew he was a dangerous sort of boy but she just expected it to be in the simpler sort of dangers; drugs, sex, alcohol.

“You remember when I mocked you for being given everything you wanted when you wanted it?”

“Yes.” _And it still stung._

“Because my sister and I never really got that.”

His eyes are anywhere but on hers. The confidence he usually bolstered fading the more he speaks about these things.

“Our parents died when we were young.”

Her heart is aching.

“And we ended up in some shitty foster homes for a while. Touka started working very young but it still wasn’t enough.”

She slips her fingers into his.

“Finally a nice old man adopted us. Touka adjusted well and enjoyed going to school and working for him.”

Her lips part: “and you?”

“I didn’t adjust as well. I was hateful at the world for putting us in this position.” Hinami notes how it seems painful for him to even open up this much. It was like he was breaking a rib each time he spoke to show her his heart.

 

(oh boy you must ache and ache.)

 

“I got mixed up with the wrong people. I got into fights. I was good at fighting and that’s what got me in trouble.”

“Why?”

“A gang leader recruited me to be an enforcer.”

“En...Enforcer?” Hinami feels like her own stomach is twisting the longer he talks. She had expected him to say he liked to get into fights but this rabbit hole was far deeper than she thought it would be.

 

(poor little Alice you’re so lost.)

 

“He paid me to beat up people who he thought needed it. It was good for a while because it allowed me to take my anger out and it gave me money to help my sister and I but…”

“But?”

“I’ve grown tired of it. I’m tired of fighting and hurting people. I’m not the same angry teenager I was when he first found me.”

“Can you leave?”

“Not really. I mean I suppose I could try, I just...don’t know.”

“Does Touka know?”

“Yeah.”

Hinami hurts for him. So this is why he is constantly on alert. This is why he’s so quick to shove people away. This is why he didn’t want her to get hurt. Too late Ayato. She leans closer and brings her lips to his softly. He melts deeper as she does so.

“We’ll find a way.”

“Are you sure?”

She laces their fingers tightly together and gives him a reassuring squeeze,“I’m sure.”

Ayato watches her cautiously. She seemed so confident in him and in them that it was hard to believe those three words were still stuck in his throat choking him. He’d need to get away from his past and away from the unruly violent boy he was before he could tell her that he loved her.


	10. The Boy Who Cried Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burning bridges were easy in theory, but in reality the scorching flames lick everywhere and destroy more than intended.

(be wary little rabbit, be wary of who you lay your loyalties too.)

—

Ayato is scared. He is scared in the way little kids fear their parents coming home and finding the cookie jar broken —except he’s the broken jar and he’s worried his boss will dispose of him.

Trembling fingers dial the number he knew by muscle memory. He had called this number so often he swears it was burned into his flesh. His boss picks up and sounds in a decent mood, which for him just meant moderately irritated.  

“I need to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Gotta talk.”

“Fine, the usual?”

“Yeah.”

Ayato hangs up. His mind clouds with a dull moonshine feeling caused by that girl; that girl that was undoing his life like she was tugging on the loose strings on the sweaters she wore. A fracture of his thoughts wishes he didn’t meet her so he could live his life as destructively as he pleased. However he knows he wouldn’t trade her for anything.

At least so he thought.

—

Tatara stands with a casual demeanor but both knew he could pounce alive in seconds if he needed to. Ayato approaches him and reworks and reworks the wiring of his thoughts so his words don’t come out a jumbled mess.

Ayato finds himself lingering in the past as he gets closer to his boss. The past tastes like copper and alcohol, a bitter and rude taste. Fractures of conversations pass through his mind— _ kill him, it’s just alcohol, don’t tell the doctors how you really broke your wrist, come on, fuck her _ —

If he could talk to his fourteen year old self he’d tell him to grow the fuck up.

 

(dear God, I know I’ve sinned but please just help me out this once)

 

“What’d you want Kirishima?”

“To talk.”

“So talk.”

Talk. Yes that’s what he came here for. Talk: four letters and yet a hefty burden when the object of your thoughts was a troubling one. So how could one word mean both casual conversations and weighty words that could turn events nasty? He’d ask Hina later what her thoughts were on it.

If there was a later.

“I wanna quit.”

“Quit what? Drugs? You in the mood for rehab Kirishima?” Snark lurks in his tone.

“I’m not on any hard drugs.”

“You could be.”

“No.”

“So quit what then?”

“You, this enforcer thing.” The words taste bitter as they roll of his tongue. He knows he has to lay them out, no matter how torturous it was. He needed Hinami in his life and if he were to have that he’d have to burn his past.

“Huh”

“Huh?” Ayato echoes.

“What made you so weak?” Tatara says. His voice is calm. The calm before the storm type. Ayato knew the storm ended in bloody knuckles and broken bones.

“Weak? What a fucking joke. I’m just tired of being an errand boy, I got a life you know.” Ayato plays this off casually. But casually was not what the elder male heard. He must’ve unwound Ayato’s words and found his hidden intentions because he steps closer to Ayato now. So close Ayato’s back hits the wall. He can feel the cold and harsh texture grinding against his back.

“Who is she?”

Panic. Ayato’s body delves into this state of mind so easily he thinks it’s quicksand. But he luckily has mastered years of burying his emotions in shallow graves. So he’d just have to do it again. However he finds it harder now after having dug up some of those graves with Hinami, damn her.

“Who the fuck are you talking about?”

“She, whoever she happens to be.”

“Why do you suspect a girl?” Ayato groans. His lungs crumbling from the way his boss holds him tightly to the wall.

“The only thing that could make someone of your depravity crumble is a girl, she must be some piece of ass though.”

“Fuck off, I just don’t wanna be your errand boy.”

“I bet she’s a real good girl.” Tatara’s elbows grind eagerly into Ayato’s ribs. “Because otherwise you wouldn’t give a fuck if she knew you were a fucked up psycho.”

“...”

“Am I wrong Kirishima?”

“I…” Start. Stop. And then the punch comes. Fist digging dangerously into the workings of his ribcage. He begs for air but it only rewarded with an elbow colliding into his jaw. Moments pass where the world is a spinning paroxysm of gravel and streetlights. Till he hits the ground with a thud.

Tatara stands above Ayato —as he should, for he was a man of command and high thrones, a man who gave orders. Ayato knew he shouldn’t cross him. He knew this was a suicide mission but his body ached at the thought of not having Hinami in his life.

“Gonna enforce your enforcer?” Ayato jokes. His words taste like blood. Oh, wait, that’s his own mouth.

“Yeah. Gonna make sure you know your place.” And then another kick comes.

—

The door creaks open tenderly. Hinami looks up from her book to see a hooded figure stumble in. She tilts her head to catch a glimmer of the face shrouded by a hood. She knows who it is though.

“Ayato, what’s wr-” A stop. A gasp. A hurried rush of pattering feet. “What, what, how, why, who?” Her questions barrade the broken boy. He lets her rapid words fly like hummingbirds around him.

“Hina. I, we,” He swallows the beating of his heart. “Should stop.”

“S...Stop what?” Her voice is teetering between wispy and melancholy. Her eyes flutter like nervous butterflies. She looked so effortlessly light filled that the dark edges of his mind shied away. He was nothing she deserved and this moment was only illuminating that fact even more.    

“Us.”

Hinami falters in her breathtaking glow only to have her veins replaced with an uglier color. A dripping dark blue that tests her circulation. She chews nervously at her lips almost begging an answer out of the bloody mess she makes of them.

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Weren’t you going to leave?”

A pause. A promise in his hands.

“I tried.” The words settle unevenly around them. She gives a nod before taking a step away from him. But to him it felt like a chasm opened between them.

“I can help.”

“You can’t.” Whiplash—the words hit her like whiplash and she nearly recoils. “You’re to stay the hell away from this.”

“You’re not the boss of me.” Her words float effortlessly through his mind. He knows she was a stubborn creature made of steel feigning as porcelain—she came to a party just to prove a point to him.

“I know, so I think I’ll just leave.”

“A-Ayato!” She stumbles forward and he, painfully, steps away from her. “You can’t make decisions for me!”

“I’m not risking this Hina.”

“It’s my risk to take damnit.” She nearly shouts. Ayato’s mind sees a graveyard of disgusting images—

a forced drug addicted Hinami begging for a score, a sex toy Hinami used by the men of the gang, her limbs coming to him in packages, taunts and taunts haunting him about what they could do to her—

“No. No, I won’t let you take it.”

“Let’s talk about this,” her stare is a constellation of tears and pleading, “please.”

“No.”

Her body reminds him of a willow tree; limbs hung and features taking on a longing look. Had this been another life he’d wrap her in his arms and whisper apologies. However this was not. Maybe they could be right, but fate was toying with them and Ayato would not be a puppet to the this tragedy.

“I hope you find somebody to love someday Hina.” —

_ like I love you _ —

“I don’t want anyone else…”

“I’m sorry.”

And he leaves. He leaves in heavy footsteps and mumbled curse words. His whole body is alive with a dangerous carnal need for violence. He wants to destroy and destroy till the whole world feels the way he felt. But he won’t. He will just drown himself in toxicities and dream of her.

 

( _ only in your dreams is she yours _ , a voice taunts him.)

 

“I suppose that’s all I deserve afterall.”

 


	11. The Red Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She would walk through armies and still remain ethereal. Hinami was going to take this all on herself and no longer wait for someone to sweep her away. She was nobody's princess.

Hinami Fueguchi was a princess. She was glitter lashes and golden thrones. She was soft commands and followed orders. Hinami was a girl who knew; and girls with knowledge got what they wanted. Hinami danced down corridors like a ballerina lost in some soundless melody. Hinami Fueguchi was braver and far more capable than her porcelain features lead on.

And she was aware of this.

Hinami was all too aware that people mistook her as a child veined girl who read fairy tales and dreamed too often. What they didn’t know was she could simultaneously be the princess of her story and also the dragon.

She could lead armies and still sip galaxies from a fragile teacup.

She would fix this. She would find a way to have her fairytale ending, even if it meant becoming the villain in her own story. Being saved by a prince was trite and Hinami was anything but trite. She’d crumble the world in her delicate fingers and rebuild it all in the same sweeping motion.

Her plans swarmed around her like may flies on a warm spring afternoon. She flicked her head and just kept walking, walking like she was leading armies. She would fix this.

She finally seats herself in front of a pretty girl with sadistic features, pastel hair knotted in a messy bun on the top of her head and glasses perched on her nose.

“Eto-san.”

“Oh Hina-chan!” Her voice is soft rain on a summer night but Hinami knew hurricanes bread in this girl. “Sit, sit.” She gestures to the seat in front of her. “How are you?”

“Alright, I suppose.” Drop your eyes and bite your lip the director of this lie shouts. Hinami follows the stage directions.

“Now, now you don’t sound alright. What’s really wrong.”

“Well…”a pause, a faked nervous shift, “a bit worried about Ayato.”

Her interest shifts now.: “oh, Ayato? What’s wrong?”

“He’s having some trouble with a friend of his.”

 

(let the dance begin.)

 

“A friend?”

“Tatara.” Hinami speaks his name off handedly like he was not the man responsible for all of this. She knows Eto knows him too. Eto had some wiring connection to these men. But she was going to keep playing this game. Her lips purse as if she truly needed to ponder the name.

“Ah, yes he’s a troubling boy.”

“See Ayato thinks he owes him something.”

“And you don’t?” Eto’s voice begins to darken—the storm growing.

“I think Ayato doesn’t need to play these games.”

_give._

“Are you sure he’s the one playing games?”

_take._

“Yes, I’m not fond of games.”

_push._

“You seem to be enjoying this though.”

_pull._

Eto takes a glance, a deeper one, at Hinami as if she hadn’t truly seen her the first time they met in class last semester. Her lips curve into a sinister grin. Though something else hides in it, pride maybe? Like a proud parent when their kid grows out of training wheels.

Hinami thinks back to the first day she met Eto. A bundle of unruly hair and hands far too curious to be attached to a body; it was like all of her floated in pieces and still orbited together, a galaxy of knowledge and curiosity. She had insisted they become acquainted—

_“you’re gonna need friends like me.”_

_“why?”_

_“you’ll get eaten alive the way you are.”_ —

And since then the two of been an odd study in opposition. Finding comfort in the dance they did around each other. Hinami liked having her as a friend but the closer she dissects the stars in Eto’s bloodstream she can see black holes clotting her.  

What a shame you turned out to be this way, she thinks, we could’ve kept this dance going.

“How’d you figure out my connection to Tatara and his...friends.” The thespian bows and the currents close, her act was done.

“I had a hunch. You invited me to that party and I did some research and it was his frat house. Plus I’ve seen the two of you closely whispering often. And with the way Ayato brushed you off whenever I mentioned you only added to it.”

“Woohoo Nancy Drew.”

“I don’t know how deep you’re connected to their whatever it is but I know you have some connection and I know you’re easier for me to talk to then Tatara, since I don’t know him personally.”

Eto giggles, the type of giggle they played in the background of horror movies set in asylums. Her grin is wide and deadly. Hinami holds her composure close to her chest.

“You’re smarter than I thought.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“This is a dangerous world-”

“I know.”

“Well I assume you have something of substance or you wouldn’t bother talking to me about all of this.”

“I do.”

 

—

 

Ayato Kirishima sits in a murky apartment. Some place hidden in the cracks of the city—in the hush hush district of town. His fingers fiddle with a blunt in a stumbling sort of way that didn’t quite fit him. The moon peeks into the room casting a dreamlike glow across the clouds of smoke. He takes a slow hungry hit from and his blunt and then shuts his eyes.

Glimmers of her cross his mind. A spark of a smile, a laughter, a weighty love of books, a collection of soft blankets, a doe-eyed gaze, a love in her lips and a dream in her eyes. She was a wonder of a girl

And then he _wonders_.

He wonders in a wistful way if she still thought of him. It had been weeks since he told her they were to stop. He had gotten the occasional text from her—

_Hina [2:35pm]: ayato, please let’s talk._

_Hina [6:24am]: I can fix this._

_Hina [9:42pm]: we still have plans to see that movie, or did you find someone else?_

_Hina [10:56 am]: did you still want me to help you study?_

_Hina[3:12am]: I miss you._ —

but the seasons changed and she left with the autumn air bringing nothing but stark chill in her place. Ayato wishes for her to hold on nights like these.

Beep. Beep. His phone? (ironically as he thought of past texts)—

_Hinami [12:37 am]: let’s talk._

yes. no. maybe. I miss you too.

_Ayato [12:45]: okay. Fine._ —

His heartbeat walks a tight line somewhere between afraid and elated. When he sits here in the dark he thinks just maybe he could have her once more. All of her.

Hah. She was such a credulous creature—so naive in the way the world crumbled and fractured; she dreamed in possibilities and superstitions. He wishes he too could find bliss in the same ignorance she did.

“Hinami teach me to love like you do.” He whispers to the moon and the stars. But the moon and stars are better listeners than talkers and so he remains in silence.

  
  
  
  



	12. The Princess and the Pea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayato prays and Hinami works, it seems their roles have been reversed. Looming danger often changes people.

Hinami was an odd intricate creature. She was starry-eyed and wise all in one glance. To Ayato—someone who lived his life in black and white—this enigma of a girl confused him. How could she live so wonderlessly in the stars while still being grounded?

Ayato was a firm believer in people being stuck in the skin they made. They were the cruelty of their fists or the weakness in their smile. They were never both. Grey did not exist to him. So to have fallen in love with the grey in the world had him questioning who he really was.

Am I all that bad? A conversation between him and Hinami tugs at his consciousness,—

 

_“you’re not just the bad things you’ve done”_

 

_“how do you know?”_

 

_“people aren’t made up of only the ugly.”_

 

_“what if ugly is all there is?”_

 

_“then you’re not human.”_ —

 

and originally he had ignored her prophetic blabber. But now he thinks she could right. He was not just the years spent in dark alleys with his fist buried in someone’s face. He was not just the drug deals he’s made for Tatara—nor was he just the drugs he’s taken.

He was better than that.

He was also the strong hand that held hers. He was also a passionate kiss that left her breathless. He was also the person she loved. Ayato knew that fact, for it was written in his skin from all the ways she touched him.

But then it ached all over again that she was gone from him.

RING RING, saved by the bell he thinks.

_Hinami [3:46 pm]: meet me at my place in an hour to talk._

_Ayato [3:46 pm]: okay._

Ayato considers adding I love you to the end of the message but he stops himself. He hasn’t even said it yet and only morons or cowards say it over a text message.

_Hinami [3:48 pm]: see you then._

 

—

 

Hinami lived in a small tucked away apartment on the outskirts of town. Somewhere in between a used bookshop and a cafe she nestled down—he’s not sure if he sees Hinami in this neighborhood or the neighborhood in her. Ayato fiddles with the fraying ends of his parka—a gesture he had long thought he abandoned, a gesture of anxiety. It was 4:50 and the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. Ayato thinks of the night he kissed her on her balcony. The sun was setting just like this one was—he supposes the sun doesn’t care for what you’ve done, it’ll set for you regardless—though that night was a warmer autumn one.

Hinami opens the door after a half of a knock. Her caramel locks pulled into the destructive bun—her hair being too short and layered to kept all the way up. Ayato had only seen Hinami shovel her hair up like that and that was the weekend before her midterms when she spent all night studying and planning and studying some more.

“Hina…”—a cough—“Hinami.” He feels intrusive to call her by a nickname. He didn’t deserve it.

“Come in.” Her tone is scholarly and he considers taking notes before remembering where he was. Ayato enters and again nostalgia eats at him. Seeing Hinami casually lounging in shorts and a tank top—so luckily just a tank top—in her place like this made him hunger for easier days.

“So, you wanted to talk.” He’s on edge. All his muscle memory yearning to fight, to run, to hurt something or someone. But he shovels it away—this was not the place for it.

“How much do you know about Eto’s connection to Tatara and his men.”

Surprise. Shock. Anger. Appreciation. All emotions vye for sole attention. How did she even figure that out and why was she bringing it up? Hinami you wonderful and naive creature.

He debates what to tell her about it. But he settles on the truth: “Fuck, well she’s actually in charge. But no one knows, hell I didn’t even know till about a month ago, anyway they think Tatara has all the power because Eto thinks they wouldn’t follow a women as easily. Plus he’s more physically intimidating.” Ayato hadn’t ever spoken these thoughts, he always presumed them as the type to never be heard.

“As I thought.”

“Why do you even care? I told you they weren’t worth it and I’d just stay away.”

“I fixed it.” His heart softens like melting wax. What he’d love to have this fixed. But his ties to this life were bone deep.

He asks anyway: “Hinami...what are you talking about?”

She lets out a lengthy sigh, which only adds to the disheveling of her bun.

“So would the hierarchy crumble if she was removed from the circle?”

“I’d assume so, she’s really valuable. At best they’d be weakened since she handled the organization to a tee and in a way only she’d understand.” Ayato had been a higher up in his gang for years and he still barely understood how the inner workings of it went. He had seen Tatara and Eto often have hushed conversations behind cracked doors. He once heard Tatara say “I understand boss” and that’s when Ayato figured out Eto was really in charge.

“Organization?”

Now it was his turn to sigh.

“She handled all the internal things. Like who worked for us, who did what, who go what out of the organization, who needed punishment, drug runs, and so on.”

“And Tatara doesn’t know how to do that?”

“No. As long as I’ve been there he’s only ever lead things in action. He was not one for behind the scenes planning, he was more for commanding and leading.”

“Mhm, good.”

“Okay what is the fucking point of all of this?” He was eager like a kid on Christmas eve to find out what Hinami had done to “fix this”. Of course he knew she was brilliant—brilliant in a soft spoken introverted way.  

“I blackmailed Eto.” Her frame is firm, unwavering. She seems to belong like this, to belong in a place of secretive power. She’s so different from the fragile girl he had thought she was long ago. He was slowly learning that people were more than the they appeared. Hinami was not just a porcelain-doll, not just her fragile features, not just her storybook laughter. She was stronger and yet still the same gentle girl he knew.  

Ayato didn’t quite know what to think of that statement. The idea that Eto had left something unhidden to even be used as blackmail seemed ridiculous. Eto was always eight steps ahead so for her to be the one getting her king knocked down seemed outrageous to him.

“How?”

Thus Hinami launches on a story of careful planning, of grave digging,—not in a literal sense—of finding things meant to be kept hidden. She had somehow figured out that Eto had a connection to the death of her father. A connection to weighty to be left up to coincidence, something that pointed her as a suspect in what had been deemed a random mugging.

“I told her either you get to leave the gang freely or the police would be alerted of it.”

Ayato ponders this. He feels something that he can’t grasp. His heart is pounding and his stomach turns. Was this all? Was this something that would actually work?

“A-Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Going to? It has.”

“W...What?”

“I already made the deal.”

Suddenly Ayato can place that feeling: it was love. He had felt love for his parents and for his sister but because he had been grown into that. Never has he found love in someone else that wasn’t bread into his DNA. He knew he loved her for a long time but right now it hits him with such a velocity that it’s hard to think of anything else.

Once Ayato and Touka had set off fireworks and watched them erupt into the sky. The sky coated in sparks of varying colors. They lit up the darkness with a vibrance unlike anything five year old Ayato had ever seen. Touka held his hand and he felt so safe and yet like he was dangling on the edge of something more for just a moment.

This was love. This was how he felt in this moment.

He has spent the past few months hiding all this because of reasons he now sees as dumb. He notices she’s watching him carefully and he thinks of just how pretty she really was and just how fucking lucky he really was.

“Hina come here.” She shifts so she’s seated closer to him. Her eyes flaming with golden flecks and her smile wide and curious. He brings his lips—dangerous and chapped—to hers—soft and inviting—and feels her lean so heavily into him like she just might lose him again.

Breathless he pulls back. Her bun is nearly dead and he laughs before pulling the elastic out and letting her hair tumble down.

“Hey-” But he’s kissing her again and again and again. He won’t let her go now.

“Hina.”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.”

She giggles and he feels nervous. Her laughter is always something he liked but right now it makes him bite at his lips.

“Why the fuck are you laughing?”

“Because I was waiting for you to say it for a long time.”

“You knew?”

“Ayato, you’re not as mysterious as you think you are.”

“Whatever.” He grumbles.

“I love you too though, you know that right?”

“Yeah.”


End file.
